The Genesee Reflection #10

The greatest concern that I now have is what my life and schedule will look like on my return from my sabbatical. I want somehow to take the silence and solitude that I will learn and bring those into a deeper connection with my current and future spiritual life. I don't want to return the same. On Tuesday, August 17th, 1974, Henri Nouwen writes:

 "How can I really develop a deep prayer life when I am back again at my busy work? I have the tendency to finish small and large jobs as soon as possible, and as long as I remain surrounded by unfinished tasks, my prayer is nearly impossible since I use the time for prayer to wonder about the many things I still have to do. It always seems that there is something more urgent and more important than prayer."

If I am going to be honest heading into my Sabbatical...I need to know where I am spiritually in order to know where I want to be spiritually. I need to know the depth of my relationship with the Father currently if I want to take some steps to deepen the relationship. I can honestly say that my prayer life needs an overhaul. I am typically thinking about tasks in my prayers and not focusing on the One who holds the power to accomplish those tasks. I am often focused on my to-do list and not on God's to-do list. I often cannot even quiet my mind enough to listen to what God would have me hear. John Eudes who was the head of the Genesee Monastery gives the wisest advice on prayer that I have ever heard. I'm not going to share it here...just in case there are a few readers out there who want to read the book.

SURGE in Review 4/4/2012

Last night was one of the best SURGE events that I have ever remembered.  We started the night off by playing the game "Caterpillar" and followed that up with a game called "Down, Down, Down"...check out the video below!

The CYM Worship Band lead us in "Happy Day", "Lead Me to the Cross", "You are My King", and "Here I am to Worship".

Last night we continued "The Journey" by traveling with Paul, Silas, and Timothy to the city of Thessalonica.  Here Paul and his companions set out to prove that Jesus was indeed the Messiah.  A great story to look during Holy Week.  Would we be able to prove that Jesus was the Messiah if all we had to argue with was the Old Testament?  That is exactly how Paul had to "reason" with the Jews and Greeks in Thessalonica.  We have to remember that when Paul was traveling he didn't have the New Testament to refer to.  We talked about some Old Testament Scripture that Paul could have used to prove that the Messiah had to suffer and die.  When that was evident by digging into the Scripture he could then point to Jesus and say that Jesus did suffer, die, and rise from the dead.  We talked about how Jason (Paul's host) was persecuted just for housing the man and he and other believers had to post bond so they could get out of prison.  We pondered why Paul was so willing to go from city to city, planting baby church after baby church, just to be persecuted, stoned, beaten, whipped, or imprisoned.  Why was Paul so willing to have his body broken over and over and over again?  Because his King, had once been broken.  Paul was following in the footsteps of his Savior.  We then transitioned into the night of the last supper with Jesus and His disciples.  We shared together in communion and foot-washing.  It was a great night to remember the King and one who was so willing to do anything to make the King known.  What would you be willing to do to follow in the footsteps of Jesus?

The Genesee Reflection #9

What does the typical day look like for a youth pastor?  Well, I am not sure I can answer that fully.  I have tried very hard to have a system in place.  Monday-Thursday I typically start the days exactly the same...Get the office, make or drink coffee (based on if Neil has beat me to it or not), check my email, respond to emails, check in on my students through Facebook, comment on students' stuff, read something, and blog about something.  On Mondays, I try to evaluate Sunday's events, twice/month there is a staff meeting, I begin looking towards Wed. nights, I answer emails that were sent on Friday-Sunday, I input attendance numbers and offering numbers to make sure we aren't having a crises.  On Tuesdays, I begin to mold the Worship slides/videos into shape, study for my lesson and begin putting it into a powerpoint presentation, this is also when I typically print out worship music for the CYM worship band.  On Wednesdays, I wrap up everything from lessons to music to videos, I typically create the small group study and questions on Wednesdays after I've had a day to think about the lesson, I typically try to watch/listen to something inspiring, then I go pick up students starting around 4:45, get back to the church around 5:45, hang out with students until we start SURGE around 6:30, take students home after SURGE and get home around 9.  On Thursdays, I reflect on the Wed., input attendance numbers making sure that we aren't having a crises, before digging into the Sunday AM Voltage lesson.  This is also when I try to get a sneak peak at what the next Wed. night will entail.

From Friday, August 30th, 1974 Nouwen writes:

    "This was one of those days that pass with many distractions and few real events.  I washed raisins for more than four hours without even finishing the whole job, received a lot of mail that needed immediate attention, talked for a few hours with one of the guests who asked for some help in his life.  Finally, I read that depressing weekly, U.S. News and World Report, which is obviously written for businessmen and not monks.
  In fact, this was a "typical" day when I think about my life before I came here.  Busy, active, talkative, but very superficial and without much concentration on anything.  It seems good to avoid more of such 'typical days'."

I have been struggling of late because my work days are seldom typical.  The listing above along with  students' games, plays, concerts, contests, and matches are the ideal days for me.  However as Easter approaches along with my Sabbatical and General Assembly, my days are being led into other distractions. My weeks have not looked like the above week for about a month and we will wrap this month up with much of the non-typicallness pace that I've been on.  But when it is all said and done...I do ponder how most of my days pass without any "real events" but seem to have plenty of distractions.

The Genesee Reflection #8

One of the memories that keeps playing over and over in my mind is the last time that I was disobedient to my dad.  It was a beautiful day and for circumstances that I cannot remember I was grounded.  I had to have been 12 or 13 and my world was outside of my house.  There was an entire neighborhood around me that I was usually free to explore.  Friends around me that I was usually free to go play ball with or ride bikes around the block with.  This day, there was no freedom.  I remember getting into an argument with my dad...again, I have no recollection of what the issue was...and then he said the magic words..."Jon, you are grounded.  You don't even want to know what will happen if you step one foot off our property."

That was all it took.  I walked out the front door...waited until my dad was watching...and then I did it...I placed one foot into the street.

The moments that followed are a bit of a blur...my dad moving faster than I ever remember him moving...grabbing me...dragging me back into the house...a few swats on the rump followed...and then I don't recall what happened after that...


Henri Nouwen writes on Monday, August 26th, 1974:

"Talked with John Eudes about obedience.  I said, 'I don't think I ever could become a monk because of my problem with obedience.  If you or anyone else told me to go collect stones every day while I was deeply convinced that I should write, read, study, or whatever, I would not be able to take it and would become so restless and hostile that I would leave sooner or later.'"

Jesus once said, "Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching.  My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.  Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching.  These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me."


What happens when God has called you to a ministry that is hard, difficult, discouraging, draining, confusing, chaotic, and unrelenting?  Do you continue to obey the calling He has placed on your life?  Or do you see what would/could happen if you took one step outside of the calling?  Perhaps God is calling you to step into a new ministry.  Do you dare leave the comfort of your ministry that is beautiful, challenging, productive, invigorating, friendly, calm, and safe?

Nouwen continues:

"If I were able to trust more, to open myself more easily, to be more vulnerable, then obedience would not be so hard.  I would be able to disagree without fear of rejection (BTW one of my biggest issues), to protest without resentment (BTW another issue I have), to express different viewpoints without self-righteousness (no problem here! LOL), and to say after all arguments:  'If I am still asked to do something I do not like to do, perhaps I must be open to the idea of God's preparing me for something greater and more important than I can imagine.'"

The Genesee Reflection #7

As a pastor sometimes people think that I have the extraordinary ability of self-control.  I will say that for the most part I believe I have.  I refrain from all the things that "look" like sin.  However, there are days/weeks/months/years where I really struggle with controlling myself in other areas that don't exactly "look" like sin.  One of the areas that I have tried conquering for years is my fascination with food.   I do love to eat.  But I only love to eat the stuff that isn't good for me.  Cheeseburgers, pizza, fried chicken, tacos, and barbecue are among my favorites.  It would be one thing if I had the "self-control" to just eat in moderate portions but I don't.

On Monday, August 19th, 1974, Henri Nouwem writes:

The news in the New York Times, the letters from India posted on the bulletin board and the increasing requests for money, food, and clothes give me more and more feeling that I belong to the happy few allowed into the Ark of Noah.  The comparison does not work too well with all these celibates, but I keep thinking about sitting on the top of the mountain while the world around me is washed away.  While we have a very abundant wheat crop, the papers speak about floods in India washing away whole crops and about droughts in North Africa and parts of the U.S.A. creating endless misery there and inflation here.  While we have healthy, strong-looking men here, the pictures show emaciated people floating nowhere on self-made rafts.  While we have peace and an atmosphere of trust here, in Cyprus, Greece, Chile, Brazil, the Middle East, South Korea, etc. hostilities break out everyday.  Still I often feel homesick for the world with its pains and problems.

How is it that I can consume so much when nearly 26,000 children under the age of 5 die every day mostly because of lack of clean water and food?  Why is it that it only takes $36 per month to save the life of one of those children (this includes food, shelter, water, medicine, and school) but it costs several hundred dollars per month to satisfy my personal hunger?  My father-in-law once told me something very wise that his dad had told him...He said that "A man should eat to live...not live to eat."  Why is this so hard?  After a lunch of either pizza or cheeseburgers with my wife today:)...I believe for remainder of the month of April I will try to eat half of what I would normally and send the extra money saved to Compassion International.

My King once said, "Whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it."

and

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance , the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink..."

Surge in Review 3/28/12

As you can tell from the video...last night's game was Red Rover...and it was a knock out!!!!

Check out this video on our new small group called "Energize"...

You can sign up for "Energize" on the Glass Doors in the CYM Student Ministry Center.

We worshipped to the SURGE Worship Band singing/playing "Our God", "Mighty to Save", "Revelation Song", and "Lead Me To the Cross".

We focused in on the city of Philippi on "The Journey" last night.  We mainly talked about how Paul and Silas reacted to the suffering that they had to endure.  Read through Acts 16 and check out their response. We also talked about how we sometimes have to connect Scripture together.  For instance this church that was started in Acts 16 is the same church that Paul wrote a letter to later on in his life.  We find this letter in our Bible and it is known as the book of Philippians.  This is a letter that Paul writes to the church in the town where tells perhaps he suffered the greatest.  He writes,  "⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

The Genesee Reflection #6

One of the interests that Henri Nouwen picked up in the monastery was listening to the sounds of birds.  So on Tuesday, August 13th, 1974 Nouwen writes:

    "This morning Father John explained to me that the killdeer is a bird that fools you by simulating injury to pull your attention away from her eggs which she lays openly on a sandy place.  Beautiful Neurosis as weapon!  How often I have asked pity for a very unreal problem in order to pull people's attention away from what I didn't want them to see."

I believe the work of a pastor often figuratively "lays openly on a sandy place."  Our work is often displayed for all to see.  We love to show off the work of our nest as long as it is full or growing.  There are times when pastors use excuses to draw one's attention away from the nest.  What happens when a church/youth group stops growing?  What happens when there are fewer and fewer people meeting together?  What happens when addition is by transfer instead of conversion?  What happens when it appears that souls are no longer being saved?  What happens when you feel as though you are only discipling believers?  What happens when it appears you are no longer connecting the Gospel to the unbelievers?

I like to use the excuse of poor finances...that is a good distracter.  I also like to use the excuse of not enough volunteers...that is a good distracter.  I like to use the excuse that I may be a bit old to connect with students...that is a good distracter.

In his book, "Surprising Insights from the Unchurched", Thom S. Rainer talks about the reasoning behind getting unchurched folks in the door of the church and keeping them there.  It is true that a family member has the greatest influence in getting their unchurched family in the doors.  But it is also true that 90% of those unchurched folks who went from being unchurched to churched that were polled stated that the pastor/preaching was critical in their choice to join the church.  So when I interpret this in youth ministry I believe that 90% of those students who do stay, will stay because of what I do or do not do.  It has been engraved in my brain by John Maxwell that everything rises and falls on leadership.  We don't have any problem getting students in the doors for their first time...We do however have issues with students wanting to return...(don't look in my nest right now)...

I am not saying it is me...we just don't have the finances to keep up...

The Genesee Reflection #5

Friday, July 26th, 1974

     "Often a thought led to a prayer and a prayer to a letter and a letter to a real feeling of peace and warmth.  A few times, after having dropped a small pile of letters in the mailbox, I had a deep sense of joy, or reconciliation, of friendship.  When I was able to express gratitude to those who had given much, sorrow to those whom I had offended, recognition to those I had forgotten, or sympathy to those who are in grief, my heart seemed to grow and a weight fell from me.  These letters seemed to restore the part of me wounded by past resentment and take away the obstacles that prevented me from bringing my history into my present prayer.
     But there also is another side.  Perhaps part of my letter writing shows that I do not want to be forgotten here, that I hope that there still are people 'out there' who think of me..."


I do not write many letters.  I do however, type a ton of emails.  This is the avenue that is my preferred method to communicate with, educate, train, encourage, motivate, and thank those who are nearest to me and the ministry God has called me to.  Email is instant...in Nouwen's day, letters were not so much.  I often wonder what happens to the emails I send.  Do those I care deeply about in my ministry actually take the time to read them?  My beautiful bride is usually the first (and most of the time only) one to respond to some of my most meaningful, thought out, heart felt emails that, at times, will go to ten to fifteen people.  Sometimes I wonder if the content of those emails were so terrible or daunting that they weren't even worth a reply to.  Is there a better way to consistently communicate with, educate, train, encourage, motivate, and thank those who are nearest to me in the ministry God has called me to?

Nouwen continues...

    "Meanwhile, it remains remarkable how little is said and written about letter writing as an important form of ministry.  A good letter can change the day for someone in pain, can chase away feelings of resentment, can create a smile and bring joy to the heart.  After all, a good part of the New Testament consists of letters, and some of the most profound insights are written down in letters between people who are attracted to each other by a deep personal affection.  Letter writing is a very important art, especially for those who want to bring the good news."

The Genesee Reflection #4

Yesterday, I talked about how I always wanted to be different...to be special.  I also mentioned that I always wanted to be faster, stronger, wiser, smarter.  Well to be honest, I was never tops in any of these categories and that is the case even today.  In elementary school, I was one of the top 5 picked to play kickball, but never the first.  I was smart enough to be tested for the "Wings" program (I don't remember what it was called back in the day), but I wasn't smart enough to pass the test.  I had an older/bigger brother who was always faster and stronger than me.  When I transitioned into Jr. High, all the other boys grew up...(I did not until my sophomore year in High School if you know what I mean).  I was almost always the smallest and slowest in High School.  So even though I strived to be faster, stronger, wiser, smarter...well, I seldom reached the heights of others.  Which brings us to the Genesee Reflection for today.  From Sunday, July 28th, 1974, Henri Nouwen writes:

"What do you do when you are always comparing yourself with other people?  What do you do when you always feel that the people you talk to, hear of, or read about are more intelligent, more skillful, more attractive, more gentle, more generous, more practical, or more contemplative than you are?  What do you do when you can't get away from measuring yourself against others, always feeling that they are the real people while you are a nobody or even less than that?"

One line from a recent Jeff Manion sermon keeps scrolling through my head...he says, "What if what makes us great is not one single act of greatness?  What if greatness is doing a bunch of good things over and over and over again?"  He goes on to talk about how people sometimes give up on doing good things because they are waiting for that one really great thing to come along.  What if I was designed to be good...not great?  Could I live with that?  Well I have been, and I believe I will continue to do good things over and over and over again until God calls me to do something else.  But, is my good...good enough?

The Genesee Reflection #3

"I have always had the strange desire to be different than other people.  I probably do not differ in this desire from other people.  Thinking about this desire and how it has functioned in my life, I am more and more aware of the way my life-style became part of our contemporary desire for 'stardom.'  I wanted to say, write or do something 'different' or 'special' that would be noticed and talked about."

On Saturday, July 13th, 1974, Henri Nouwen wrote these words.  On Thursday, March 15th, 2012, I read these words and realized he could have written these words about me.  I have never wanted to be status quo...Even from my earliest memories I wanted to be faster, stronger, wiser, and smarter.

I remember when I was around 6 or 7 years old, my family was in our backyard playing baseball.  My dad always had a huge maroon glove that he got when he played softball in a church league.  Some how, (I can't  remember if we were playing catch or if he was pitching to my brother) I was on the opposite end of our fenced in backyard when the ball rolled to me.  I picked it up, locked my focus on the huge maroon glove, and fired...It went exactly to the place my dad held the glove.  He didn't have to move it an inch.  I still remember the reaction by my parents.  They were in amazement.  There were smiles on their faces.  They verbally told me how amazing that was and that I had a really special ability.  I was different.

I know this reaction affected me greatly in a positive way...However, it seems that ever since, no matter what I do, I strive for this same reaction from everyone after everything I do.  If I don't get this type of reaction then I feel what I did was just merely average...normal...not worth a response.  Getting praised is addicting.  Living for the glory of God instead of the glory of people is very difficult for me.  I know I am special and unique in God's eyes...I also know that a life must live to completion before the chance of hearing from Him, "Well done, good and faithful servant".  Sometimes the wait is brutal...