The Genesee Diary

In May and June of this year, I will be taking my first Sabbatical.  In preparation for my time away my friend Neil hooked me up with a really cool book.  It is called The Genesee Diary by Henri J.M. Nouwen. It is written about a time in 1974 when the author who was a Catholic Priest and Professor, decided to "enlist" at a Trappist monastery for seven months.  During this time, Henri Nouwen journalized his thoughts daily and then later compiled them into this book.  So far, I feel like some of the issues that he struggled with are some of the exact issues that I am dealing with.  For instance, one paragraph from the introduction states:

When I took a closer look at this I realized that I was caught in a web of strange paradoxes.  While complaining about too many demands, I felt uneasy when none were made.  While speaking about the burden of letter writing, an empty mailbox made me sad.  While fretting about tiring lecture tours, I felt disappointed when there were no invitations.  While speaking nostalgically about an empty desk, I feared the day on which that would come true.  In short:  while desiring to be alone, I was frightened of being left alone.  The more I became aware of these paradoxes, the more I started to see how much I had indeed fallen in love with my own compulsions and illusions, and how much I needed to step back and wonder, "Is there a quiet stream underneath the fluctuating affirmations and rejections of my little world?  Is there a still point where my life is anchored and from which I can reach out with hope and courage and confidence?"


PreSabbatical Lesson 1: On my Sabbatical, I'll be looking for that quiet stream where I can spend uninterrupted time with my Creator and it is possible that during this time, the Creator, will bring a renewal of hope, courage, and confidence.